Back in 1997, I sat down with my parents to talk about adoption — about our adoption. My parents were very supportive in my search. In fact, they were the one’s who found my birth-father’s phone number and were present when I called him for the very first time. My parents would attend my birthfather’s wedding. They also were early lifetime members of Bastard Nation and were t-shirt models for the iconic BN t-shirts.On May 5th, 2002, my mother passed away. My birthfather attended the memorial for her. My mother was an incredible woman who had a huge heart and sense of humor. My dad doesn’t say much in this film, but he was so very supportive by attending an adoptee rights protest and generally being a great sport about this all.
An Adoption Story Video
Reproductive Rights Rant
[The following is an article from my blog, Mother Maven's Haven on April 23, 2007.]
It bears repeating…
“My position on reproductive rights is based on the idea that a government that bans abortion is the same government that can make it compulsory due to the governmental assumption that women have no sovereignty over her body, life, or ability to make medical decisions with her doctor.” – Me
Made In Korea: One Way Ticket Seoul-Amsterdam
[The following is a review I wrote in March 18, 2007 on Mothermaven's Haven after attending the San Francisco Asian-American Film Festival.]
Yesterday, I had a fabulous opportunity to get my first look at a couple of films being shown as a part of the San Francisco International Asian-American Film Festival. My friend, Geneva took me along with her to Berkeley since she was doing a film review of Made In Korea: One Way Ticket Seoul-Amsterdam. The documentary starts out as a filmmaker’s attempt to reunite with the eight other Korean adoptees who flew into the Netherlands in 1980 as babies. He finds one of those adoptees, who ends up becoming his girlfriend. Her story of reuniting with her birthmother in Korea, stirs up curiosity in him, where there was none before.
Voices of Adoption is Horked…by Rainbow Kids!
From 1994 to 2003, I created and produced the website Voices of Adoption. It garnered awards, press attention, and oodles of links and visits. I earned the top 25 Most Influential Women on the Web because of my work on Voices of Adoption.
Happy 2008 and 10th Anniversary!
With the turning of the New Year, we find ourselves upon the tenth anniversary of the Measure 58 campaign. Measure 58 was an Oregon state initiative that granted unconditional access to original birth certificates to adult adoptees. November 2008 will not only be a pivotal election for US president, but be the anniversary of the passage of Measure 58.
If you want to have a taste of what the Oregon initiative was and the story of the brave chief petitioner, Helen Hill, you should check out the film, Measurable Rights. Along with Helen Hill they interview myself, Damsel Plum, and Ron Morgan. The film is very nice, but my only comment on it is that it missed how much fun we had and all the hard work we did in the trenches of the campaign.
So it has been ten years since Oregon passed an open records initiative and lightening did not strike nor did the earth crumble beneath our feet by adult adoptees obtaining their original birth certificates. Nothing happened except that adult adoptees are being treated equally under the law in Oregon.
All the fears created by the opposition to adoptee rights were woefully unfounded.
One of the things I want to do is share with you my memories of the adoptee rights movement that I had the great privilege of being a part of. Along the way, I may tell you about my experiences with Voices of Adoption and the adoption world.
Will Work for A Baby
 
In Friday’s Deluth News Tribune/Miami Herald there was an article that talks about a couple wishing to adopt via roadside advertising. The couple doesn’t see such advertising as unethical — just a simple way to reach as much people as possible to let them know their interest in adopting. As a result, the couple was able to find a woman who was willing to relinquish her baby – who will be born in November. Â
They interviewed Adam Pertman, the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Institute, who thinks that roadside advertising is quite unprecedented and brings up ethical issues. Also troubling is the couple’s offer to house the pregnant woman while she is carrying the pregnancy. Even the agency they are working with thinks that the arrangement sets off “alarm bells.”
Deb Donatti of adoptionblogs.com says that it isn’t the advertising that is the ethical problem, but what happens afterwards after the pregnant woman contacts a couple.
Beside the general tackiness of a roadsign,  I believe that there are problems with casting a wide net as well as what one does when you get interested women. I have never been a fan of those online “birthmother letters” and resisted featuring them on the Voices of Adoption site because it too often is used to bypass professionals who have experience with the ins and outs of placing a baby. The sign,which is the traditional means of selling something, further commodifies the adoption process whether that is the intent or not.
When I ran Voices of Adoption for almost 9 years and occasionally I would get email from potential adoptive parents who have been burned when they have went outside an experienced, ethical, and licensed adoption agency. There are a lot of con artists out there who pray upon those going through the emotional quest to become parents. This is the problem with casting a wide net — you attract a wide variety of people who may or may not have the best intentions.
Despiration clouds judgement. Couples really wanting this to happen even if there may be alarms going off predicting this will not end well. These couples will not see the woman and keep sending money afraid that if they question too hard their dreams will fall apart.
It really doesn’t have to be a con-artist, but a confused and scared woman who starts feeling the life inside her and growing attached. Then you get this bitterness and feeling of betrayal after an adoption plan falls though. Part of the bitterness is that the potential adoptive parents realize that the signs were there all along, but their judgement became dulled by the desire to parent this woman’s baby they may have seen as theirs even before the child was born.
This is why I believe in the importance of a licensed, experienced, and ethical adoption agency to make sure all parties have appropriate contact and have realistic expectations of the process. There needs be experienced professionals to screen and get unbiased counseling for the  pregnant women. It is impossible for adoptive parents to give the woman impartial counseling. A woman during her pregnancy may feel one way, but feel completely differently once the child is born.
The process should not be about finding children for parents, but providing the best parents for babies and children whose birth parents are simply not interested in being parents rather than just being pregnant while being poor and young. Best adoption practices are when it is purely child-centered.
Adoptive parents shouldn’t be put in the position of paying for a woman’s pregnancy for the possibility that this woman’s child may become their child. Pregnant women in financial trouble shouldn’t be put in the position that in order to help her get support for a healthy pregnancy she has to hand over her child after she gives birth to it. Even if such financial and even emotional support is given with the best intent it still can be coercive and crosses the ethical line.
Taking advantage of the emotions of pregnancy is just as bad as taking advantage of people who truly want to parent.
A DAY FOR ADOPTEE RIGHTS!
A DAY FOR ADOPTEE RIGHTS!
July 20 -27, 2008
New Orleans, LA
The National Conference of State Legislatures is the largest group of
its kind, the national organization of STATE LAWMAKERS, the people who
DECIDE whether you may access your records… OR NOT. We propose a one
day PROTEST FOR ADOPTEE RIGHTS at the National Conference of State
Legislature’s Annual Meeting in New Orleans, LA, on a date to be
determined during the week of July 20th, 2008.
We propose a mass action of adoptees representing all fifty states, a
one-day rally that will be an opportunity for adoptees demonstrate
their commitment to adoptee rights and to meet their state delegation.
WON’T YOU JOIN US?
WE NEED EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS THE RIGHTS OF ADOPTEES TO ACCESS THEIR
RECORDS OF BIRTH TO COME AND SHOW THESE LAWMAKERS THAT YOU CARE! Adult
adoptees, first families, adoptive families, friends and supporters…
EVERYONE.
To find updated information and to sign up for AR 2008 New Orleans,
please go to www.adopteerights.net. Organizations interested in
participating and sponsorship are encouraged to contact Ron Morgan,
bb_church@adopteerights.net.
See you there!
Adoptee Rights 2008 Committee
Adoptee Story: Deni’s Story, Pt.1
The film of my life begins here. In the darkness of the theater you would would see the black of night riddled with a salt mist fog. You know it is San Francisco with all of its distinctive verbalization ringing sad, uncertain, anxious, but full of hope.
This all fades into an overcast day following a beautiful woman, as she traveled to a fog-choked, overcast city with an impossible dilemma, a pregnancy certain to turn her world apart. You would see my arrival into the world was into another womb of fogginess inside a brick building with bars surrounded by nuns. My birth was in the darkness of the late evening of May 1966.
Adoptee Story: The Painted Bird
The Painted Bird
By Deb Schwarz
The search and reunion of adult adoptees with their birthparents is a very misunderstood experience. Talk shows highlight the poignant embraces while ‘Movie of the Weeks’ attempt to show the societal implications. Many people (including lobbyists for closed records) label adoptees “disloyal”, “ungrateful” and even “psychopaths”. What is not fully understood is the adoptee’s quest leads to something much more life altering and long lasting than a warm embrace: we find our identity.
Adoptee Story: A Bittersweet Reunion
A Bittersweet Reunion
By Deb Schwarz
On St. Patrick’s Day 1996, I met my mother for the second time in 35 years. The last time we met, I was a day old and we were only allowed to spend ten minutes together. “Your mother cried at the separation” the adoption agency records say….what they didn’t say is that she has never stopped crying all these years.